Self control, not just "gun control" - rethink the approach

Gun control – the hot topic after another horrific mass shooting – is all over the media – the flames on the embers of tragedy… we simplify this issue and are looking to the governments (state and federal) to protect us from future occurrences - and in the same moment lament the freedoms that we’ve lost in the past 11 years. I am going to go on record – “We” just don’t get it. It is not a matter of “If guns were outlawed then only outlaws would have guns” versus “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people”. Both are half-truths which means they are half self-deception. There are responsible gun owners who hold a very different attitude toward weaponry: RESPECT of the power that is inherent in owning them. When you drive your car, you understand the power of that vehicle to damage and hurt others (or to have your vehicle damaged/ yourself injured by others). This concept underlies responsible gun ownership. For the record, I do not own a gun, though I was taught to use rifles, shotguns and handguns. (Bet THAT is surprising to a few of you!). I learned the power and the respect firsthand. Many of the incidents that we read about involving guns involve them as a weapon of opportunity. The neighbors who quarrel and in the heat of the moment, one gets his gun and shoots the next. Kids who cannot buy cigarettes legally but manage to obtain weapons – without training, without permits --- the scenarios are endless. You can effectively argue that knives can be used in the same manner – however they don’t have the potential for the rapid broad impact of a semi-automatic or automatic weapon. Still, the answers are not as simple as guns versus people. It is the synergy gone awry of people with guns. The next steps to effectively reduce the potential for these tragedies lies with all of us. It is not simply a matter of laws, laws don't make it so - people make it so. And so it is a matter of civic responsibility, of taking responsibility for our actions, and becoming more community minded. There is a move toward community in recent years such as we have not seen in decades and I am glad to see it. But the everyday challenges are great – we are bombarded with too much negative sensational media (which we watch, thus raising the ratings and just encouraging more), we can’t go anywhere, can’t turn on the computer or radio or TV without being served up advertising telling us in loud caricatures what to eat, drink, brush our teeth with, drive… and the electronics in our homes make the darkness look like miniature cities with the Power lights. We are over stimulated and sleep deprived. You don’t have to spend much time researching to see how much is out there on the consequences of both – judgment and impulse control degradation. Add that to other factors – stress, abuse, loneliness/ isolation and the recipe for tragedy is very clear. Changing the way we live is a matter of changing our values – and that is no minor challenge for most. You need to consciously and honestly look at what you value – clothes, nice car, the latest gadgets, career – and make sure that family, sleep, and quiet time (away from electronics, work & stress-inducers, and people) are factored in. We may not have enough quiet time and life seems too busy to create it – but try scheduling it and respecting its place in your routine with the same attention as going to work, appointments, etc. Those are just suggestions for beginning the process – there are plenty of articles with suggestions about how to create a better life and we can find those that fit our lifestyles – or the lifestyles that we want to create. If we improve the value and pace of our own lives, that will ripple to those around us and support their efforts to do the same (which also reinforces our own). But first, more sleep and less distraction - you may be surprised at what a difference a day makes with both!

A New Age - Diversity and Inclusion apply here too

Job hunting in a down economy is frustrating... Like many, too many out there, I went through a dry spell, watching savings draw down to the wire....realizing that finding a job was not as easy as it was when I was 25. But it's not easy at 25 either anymore - just ask recent college grads....My dry spell preceded the current downturn but even as late as fall 2009, I found myself once again part of a large layoff group. But this time I had a different attitude.

Many Baby boomers will tell you that it is harder finding a job - that preference goes to the younger worker. Unlike 30 years ago, this would not be because the company expects to get more years out of that worker before retirement. Long term employment at a single company is less the rule these days. I'd argue that two factors contribute to the current dilemma for my generation -- our own expectations and the short-sightedness of diversity/ inclusion programs.

Start with our own expectations - an excellent article that I recently read advised that "you are not ENTITLED to a job/ you do not DESERVE a job". Now there's a cold bucket of truth. That same article also stated that we should not expect our salaries to increase every year..... Now, if you are in business and take a step back, this makes hard sense. If I am a receptionist, and I am very good and like being a receptionist and do this for 20 years at the same place after starting at 24K/ year, I should not expect an "attendance" increase to $50,000 over a 10 or even a 20 year period if the position value only increases to $35K. Extrapolate that to any position that you like - the same logic holds. And that has to be the first realization about expectations. What is our position worth in today's market? And no, we don't have to like the answer, but we have to understand it.

Now let's look at traditional corporations with functional hierarchies....the culture has tended toward what I call "parental" management. That is, management and above takes a parental role in overseeing staff. And staff accepts that and behaves accordingly. And there is the stereotype of the older staffer and younger manager butting heads over who knows what is better for the organization. And polarizing....which at minimum can be an annoyance and worst case can be a managerial nightmare.

Upset the apple cart. Take all of the age images and let's re-look at the picture: Younger workers have the advantage of a different education -one in tune with the current technological world, where these technologies were an integral part of their world forever. Older workers have experience with evolving technologies as well, with change and with life experience. There are a lot of opportunities for mutual growth, synergies and legacy learning -- from each other.

Lesson 1 - It is the experience you have that counts -- not how many years you've been out there.

Another thought: Just because you are a star customer service rep, doesn't mean you'd do a good job at managing the department. Have you ever seen a star performer promoted from the ranks who failed miserably at the next level? Managing, directing, and senior management are all different skill sets (even from each other) and not everyone "grows" into them. So if your president is 10 + years younger than you, or your age, but has the energy to manage the mega view and activities and the wisdom to surround him-/her-self with a capable team, then be glad someone else is doing what you really wouldn't want to do. And if you see yourself as wanting that - well, then aspire to climb the ladder.

Lesson 2 - Mine your abilities and talents to their full potential, but appreciate that skills, talent and perseverence are what define success at different levels, not age and experience alone.

None of what I've said is profound, but it needs to be said and it needs to be considered. The future is dazzling and includes all of us -- but we have to reach beyond where we've been to get there. Einstein said "We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking that created them". No one person can solve the problems of our time - but together we have a better chance of reaching that better place. More to come on this topic.....your thoughts?

The President's speech... are you kidding me?

Here we go again – the President of the United States has gone the extra mile to not only plan to address our children, but to make recommendations for discussion, to encourage independent thought about that speech.

GASP! What? Teach my kid to think? I’m the parent and I decide what my kid thinks – or so that is the upshot of the mindless reaction that is splayed across the media. Folks, stand down and watch the speech. And get a copy of the discussion guidelines for yourselves.

And think. Wow, what a concept…..

Those of you who actually think that this amounts to indoctrination, obviously never had a thought of your very own….never disobeyed your parents….or have very selective memories.

To Rhode Island - and anywhere else this applies

Well the state employees are crying because 1000 of them are being kicked to the curb since all would not kick in the equivalent of a 4.5% salary cut to save them. Did you think that pennies from heaven would shower in at the last minute? If so, you must be breathing second hand medical marijuana smoke. I took a 5% pay hit and an additional 10% for a month this spring and still got furloughed, but it kept my job for a few more months. Am I crying? NO – I’m looking for another job and I’m not going to give up until I find one.

Everyone feels like a victim of these times, but none more so than those families who are evicted from their homes by foreclosure (I’m talking job loss, not necessarily predatory lending). What irony to live in a shelter and see the home you had to leave sitting on the market, empty and open to squatters and vandals.

And yet we look to the government for answers…uh folks, we elected them. They are only as good as the consideration we gave in our vote. Have you ever been to your local congressman/ senator offices just to get information on the issues, or present one of your own? Are you greeted by an interactive office staff member, or, as I was, greeted by a well dressed and nicely coiffed young woman who seemed unable to say anything other than “Thank you, we will send this to Washington….”

The Economy...thought 1

Well, in true capitalist style, we all now know that the shareholder reigns supreme at the expense of the people on whose backs the value is earned. Bailout recipients need to accelerate payment to the government before share value goes up – if they are going to pursue the economic times as an excuse to wring every last drop of sweat out of a reduced and overworked, coerced (yes, coerced by fear of job loss) workforce. Shareholders - sure I’m one too, but, I’m a long-term investor (the way the markets were originally designed to flow) and I can wait for a bigger dividend if it means my neighbor 1) keeps their job (reduces stress on public services such as Unemployment and Medicaid), 2) is able to keep their house (lack of neighborhood foreclosures preserves the value of my property) and 3) can pay the taxes on it (reduces my local tax burden). See? I can be charitable with win-win results…..